I keep some of my spam email in a special folder. It is not the spam itself, invariably consisting of advice on either stocks I don’t want or how to increase the size of my nonexistent penis. No, it’s the titles that turn my crank. I get such a kick out of them. Obviously some spam software somewhere takes random words and puts them together to form crazy subject lines. Some of them have “Re:” on the front of them, as if I had already had conversations with someone about things like “waterless bald mountain”. Of course, none of them make any sense but it is the odd mixing of these words that sometimes sounds poetic, dramtic, intriguing or just plain silly. I give you a sampling:

  • I ask no just
  • Re: To stand no lollipop headfirst
  • it spend as dandy propitiate
  • Which smoke go lascivious
  • Re: As cut as bespoke blueprint
  • Re: Or hurt my antarctic realist
  • Is type go bullfrog belay
  • Re: Not turnoff the pane snapper
  • Re: As reply to reopen deceased
  • Re: Be live no undesirable fight
  • And probably my very favourite:I explain by tonsillitis raving

So, what’s in your spam folder?